The Original Intro Of Scott Suttons Story
Adolf Hitlers Operation Fail Safe A Story Of One Man Struggle For Sanity To Change The Course Of History And To Fulfill His True Destiny That Is The 1,000 year Reich.
My name is Scott; I was born in Cambridge, England
My struggle for sanity started after I decided to have a vasectomy back in 2006.
I was told the procedure was safe but hey, what do I know? I'm no doctor; I'm just the patient, Months after the vasectomy my thought pattern turned to pure untamed rage; I was left feeling less than a man incomplete so to speak, soon the sleepless nights started I would be lucky if I had two hours shut eye, I say shut eye because my eyes where shut but I wasn’t fully asleep it was like I couldn’t turn my brain off, it felt like my brain was in over drive 24 hours a day 7 days a week, As a result of all that’s happened to me strange thing accrue. I hear voices and see dark shadows shaped like men; they mainly came at night, the whispering in my ears seemed to last for an eternity, they never shut up.
I used to see a psychiatrist she prescribed a cocktail of drugs. She said that I was broken and could never be fixed, but I could live my life comfortably on this cocktail of drugs she prescribed. Unfortunately with or without all of these drugs my life is not comfortable, neither is it normal anymore.
I don't know if the side effects of what I'm taking raise the dark shadows shaped like men that haunt me day and night, dark shadows that torment me when I finally fall to sleep, they even wake me up and sometimes hold me down hard to the bed so that I can't move.
It has been suggested to me via this website that it could be sleep paralysis as it’s like being paralyzed, when the only things i can do is see and hear, as with sleep paralysis you may also experience a very real sensation that there is someone else in the room with you. As these type of hallucinations are a fairly common feature of sleep paralysis, but that wouldn’t explain the voices.
As I see the shadows sit and press down on my chest holding my body down hard to the bed, it's like being crushed in a vice, the jaws closing tighter and tighter until i can no longer breathe then they seem to release me. They have choked me, they awake me with the sensation as if forgetting how to swallow which makes me panic.
I’ve woken up several times standing over my partner; holding a pillow as if I was going to suffocate her.
The shadows make everything seem so real. Perhaps it is all real and not in my head. The only time the dark shadows leave me alone is when I'm studying or watching what they tell me to I thought I was going mad.
Due to the lack of sleep I went to my doctors and I had a blood test on these results my doctor refereed me to the hospital. I was subjected to lots of blood tests; among other tests to try and kick start my pituitary gland as it wasn’t producing testosterone. My visits where every 6 months apart each time blood tests and yet more blood tests, to which I was told I would get help when I go back in 6 months’ time; but each time was the same this went on for around 3 years of blood tests with endless promises, all the doctor would say is it’s only another 6 months, I said yes it maybe only 6 months but you try having 2 hours sleep and be told do another 6 months; I said I don’t know if I can cope anymore as six months is a long time and I feel like im in my own prison, but a letter came soon after it was from the hospital stating I can be injected with the hormone called testosterone; these injections would be 14 days apart at my doctors surgery administered by a nurse but my hormone levels where ether high or very low, this effected my emotions, it was like I was watching my life through someone else’s eyes as my personality changed all I wanted to do is live breath everything that is Adolf Hitler it is true that I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame was it me ? my brain or the voices that drove me toward him day after day after day night after night after night.
I watch on as I have no control over my blind rages, the sadness, the torment, the sorrow, there’s no switch, these emotions explode uncontrollably without any prier warning sometimes I think I’m a danger to my own family.
but the truth of it all the doctors are correct you can live off such a small amount of sleep its amazing what the body can do in fact I don’t know anyone that has had any of my symptoms since their vasectomy until my nurse told me before she moved to another country that she has a good friend who is a male nurse and he is now injected with testosterone and he blames the vasectomy for the way he is and how his personality is changing could we both be right about the vasectomy, is it bad for your health as when you strip a dog from its balls many people state there dogs personality changed and why do the vets remove to balls altogether but when we are snipped we get to keep are balls, so what do the vets know that the doctors are not telling us, as there must be more of us two out there, would the government back us stating it’s not always a safe procedure I don’t think they will as if there are more like us out there this could be the biggest law suit out to date.
I contemplated suicide to release myself of this anguish of the voices and shadows.
I sometime can’t tell fact from fiction this made me an emotional wreck. If someone I liked in a series died it would feel like I’ve just lost my best friend this pain of heart ache would last for weeks it was so soul destroying but if someone close to me died in real life I didn’t even shed a tear. I seek doctors help yet again but this time it was for my uncontrollable emotions, my doctor referred me to a psychiatrist; this is when I was to be medicated to turn my brain off so I can finally sleep, it took about 12 days before the drugs started to work, they worked but would soon have to be upped in volume as I got used to the drugs in my system but they awoke the dark inside me all I wanted to do is study Adolf Hitler.
I watched every history channel documentary as well as dvd’s I brought and rented, and when I ran out of marterial to watch I turned to youtube and the web. I just couldn’t get enough information my brain wanted more; it was like my brain was a sponge and the only information it wanted to soak up was about Adolf Hitler. Its like, how can I explain this? Some people turn to god in their hour of need, I turned to a man that some would say is a god, walking among mortal men a name that will be revered until the end of time itself.
A name that strikes fear in the hearts of mortal men even today and this man's name is Adolf Hitler. I don't know why he became my savoir, perhaps the drugs or shadows forced my hand and guided me to him but I feel safe when he is around me, like a child cradled and protected by his father. My obsession consumes me it’s like my personality was changing a nastier me evolved. Now I don’t like being around a lot of people at once as voices tell me to hurt them; so I distance myself to remove their thoughts, I sometimes think if I wasn’t medicated day and night now I would hurt my own family God forbid that I would hurt any one of them, my misses is my rock as without her I don’t think I would survive this, I need her more than she will ever know. Most days and nights I sit in my room with a shrine to Adolf Hitler just wondering what life would be like if the Germans had actually won the war.
I have studied everything he did in detail before and during World War Two, I live and breathe everything that is my God Adolf Hitler. I have the knowledge in my head that would change the course of history, if only I could turn back time, but what if I can turn back time? To time-travel so to speak, I recently received a parcel from my uncle Hans who lives in Germany. In the parcel was a letter along with a large oil painting, a smaller oil painting a design for a medal called "Zieg uber England" which I assume means Victory over England and also two diagrams of a pocket watch called the Designator.
When I read the letter, everything that has happened to me, I now realize was for a purpose, one true purpose that I will follow through until the very end, even if it means the end of me.